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Nozzles (or, why can't I pump up my tires?)

Hi. I am in my mid 40s and have been riding bikes for 30+ years. I am a random hobbyist, but thought I knew enough about bikes to buy a road bike for the first times after decades of fixies and hybrids. I love riding it. I do not love having to fill the tires. I am a complete idiot when it comes to Presta valves. I have trashed more than one set of tubes trying to inflate them. I am basically only able to successfully pump up my tires 50% of the time after owning this bike a year. This morning I wanted to go for a ride, attempted to inflate the tires, and failed spectacularly. I cannot figure out what's wrong. I now have two flats, a seemingly useless bike pump, and a huge chip on my shoulder. I last rode three weeks ago, so there is no way I have leaks in both tires. Advice please? Should I just give up and sell the bike and go back to stupid hybrids? I bike for pleasure and stress relief, but having to constantly deal with what should be routine maintenance is neither pleasurable nor stress-relieving.
cyclemichael
2017-08-06 09:25:08
This should cover most of your questions.  I always let a little air out of the valve before putting the pump hose on (he does this in the video but doesn't say it until toward the end of the video) .  This way you know the valve isn't stuck. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AM0Zf49aVU
marko82
2017-08-06 10:20:38
Agreed with @marko. While Presta valves and bike pumps aren't especially intuitive to use, they aren't difficult once you've figured them out. Viewing a couple relevant YouTube videos should help correct whatever you're missing, or even a quick question to an experienced rider or bike shop mechanic. One of the problems I remember having was my pump head. A good floor pump will clamp onto the valve securely, so you don't have to hold it. But if you use a smaller hand pump, it's pretty easy to jostle and tear the tube at the base of the vale stem. I ruined a few tubes before I transitioned to a floor pump (and many of them have dual Schraeder / Presta valve heads). Hope that's helpful. Don't give up! It's definitely something that can be figured out.
ornoth
2017-08-06 11:00:19
A good floor pump that automatically handles both valve types is essential. I'd even say that any pump that does not do that is not worth buying. A built-in gauge is also essential.
stuinmccandless
2017-08-06 11:27:05
The Topeak Road Morph is a good hand pump that works like a floor pump. It's easy to get more pressure that way.
jonawebb
2017-08-06 13:04:30
I too run the Road Morph G. It's a wonderful pump to have on the road. Tho it does take up one of my two bottle cage mounts, and I have a lot of difficulty reading its gauge.
ornoth
2017-08-06 13:16:24
Thanks everyone for your responses - I have a floor pump and have been doing it right according to the video, but the tires still won't inflate. A friend suggests I may have pinch flats. Guess I'll be going to the bike shop after all.
cyclemichael
2017-08-06 14:00:34
That's my guess. I've never had problems with prestas.  Also make sure you ride with a screw on adapter.  They are so cheap buy a few. Turns a presta into a Schrader. This is essential as pretty much no where other than a bike store has a presta pump. https://www.amazon.com/Slime-23042-Presta-Schrader-Adapter/dp/B007OX6E3S  
edronline
2017-08-06 14:07:10
Yes, if your tire won't inflate it's flat; if you get pinch flats it's because your tire pressure is too low, or your tires are too narrow. Many people use too narrow tires, because that's what racers use. But they weigh a lot more than racers. Also if you don't have any adapter you can make one from a Presta dust cap. I can't find the video, but you basically cut off the tip.
jonawebb
2017-08-06 14:39:47
Put the stopper in the sink, run a half gallon of water, put some air in the tube, and rotate it through the water until you see bubbles. Start at the valve and go all the way around. There might be more than one leak. I keep a ball-point pen handy for marking the pinholes.
stuinmccandless
2017-08-06 17:21:03
Also, if your rims are wide enough (have a good bike shop give you the Okay first!) you can drill out the valve hole so you can use Schrader tubes.  You might have trouble finding exact same size tubes, but the shop can tell you which sizes would be close enough equivalents (i.e. 27 inch ~ 700c)
marko82
2017-08-06 21:33:27
This reminds me of a funny story on my bike trip to DC during the week of July 4th this year. I was doing 100 miles on the first day to reach Confluence. About 4 miles before Confluence, I noticed a trio was trying to fix a member's bike. I stopped to give them a hand. The rider said she already had two punctures on the same wheel earlier. I first checked the inside of the tire to see if there were any sharp objects stuck in it, but I couldn't find any. I then examined the rim tape, and found out the rider only had crappy factory rubber rim tape on the wheel, and it was worn-off and exposing the spoke nipple holes underneath. One rider in the group was carrying fabric medical tape, and I told her to put two layers of the fabric tape around the rim before installing a new tube and putting everything back together as shown in the picture above. We went our separate ways after Confluence. But amazingly, we ran into each other again at Harpers Ferry on the 5th day of the trip. I was spending the whole day exploring Harpers Ferry, and when I returned to the C&O Canal Path via the railroad bridge, the trio were there asking people about how to get to the Harpers Ferry Hostel. Most people visiting Harpers Ferry stayed at B&Bs or inns across the river, so very few people knew where the Hostel was. Fortunately, I was also staying the Hostel for the night, so I pointed them in the right direction. Later that night, they told me the improvised rim tape worked so well that the rider didn't have any punctures for the rest of the trip.
ninjaturtle0304
2017-08-06 22:13:19
Does the pump build pressure without inflating the tire?  In that case, wiggle the nozzle while it's still attached to the valve until you hear a 'pop'.  Sometimes the valve doesn't want to open without doing this.  Happens with my pump (very similar to the one in the GCN video) at least.
lee
2017-08-08 11:56:55
No, I just hear a hiss when pumping and no air enters the tube. Yes, the pump is secured onto the nozzle.
cyclemichael
2017-08-08 12:02:00
There is probably a crack where the stem meets the rest of the tube. When you have the wheel apart look at that area to make sure that it isn't sharp/cutting into the tube. And when putting on a new tube make sure the nozzle is straight up and down /not at an angle. But you probably knew all of that.   Or go to any decent bike store and the.fix it person will diagnose the problem in 30 seconds.
edronline
2017-08-08 12:34:01