BIKEPGH MESSAGE BOARD ARCHIVE

ive heard this before but i found it online:

A very devout cyclist dies and goes to heaven. Saint Peter meets him at the gate. First thing the cyclist askes is if there are bicycles in heaven.

"Sure," says St. Peter, "let me show you," and he leads the guy into the finest Velodrome you can imagine.

"This is great," the cyclist says.

"It certainly is," says St. Peter. "You will have a custom bike and the best cycling clothes you've ever seen, and your personal masseuse will always available."

As they speak a blur streaks by them on the boards riding a gold plated Cinelli.

"Wow!" the cyclist exclaims. "That guy was so fast that can only be Eddy Merckx!"

"No," says St. Peter, "that was God on the bike, he only thinks he's Eddy".

wonder what hell's velodrome looks like

I think the track would be made from the same asphalt that Pittsburgh streets are made from.

nah it would probably be just as perfect and pristine, but you'd have constant bike troubles and breakages so you wouldn't ever be able to ride it.

i can't believe i haven't even heard a lightbulb one.

Let's make one up:

How many cyclists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, and it would be faster than any other method by at least 15 minutes...

Why did the cyclist cross the road?

'Cause the light was red.

A cyclist, a bus driver and an SUV driver all walk into a bar....

I'm in need of a punch line...

Q: How many cyclists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but s/he has to check Sheldon Brown's website first.

Q: How many cyclists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but s/he has to check Sheldon Brown's website first.

R.I.P.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Alberto Contador.

Alberto Contador who?

Yeah, i never heard of him either.

Erok, those are great.

How many faux messengers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Dude...it's fixed.

I have a few triathlete jokes.

How do you tell who the triathlete is at the party ?

You don't...they tell you.

A triathlete shows up at the local race on a new bike. His tri friends all ask, "Where did you get a new bike?" The triathlete replies, "Well, yesterday I was out running when this absolutely beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want!"

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Donna.

Donna who?

Donna why you can't tell you're running me off the road when I'm banging on the side of your car!

yeah, I'd take the bike too. Her clothes wouldn't fit me.

Most banjo player/drummer jokes would work pretty well.

Did you hear the one about the two cyclists that were leaving a bar just as the sun was setting?

No?

Well, it could really happen sometime.

Mick

Reported as true by Tom Ezell:

Many years ago when my little sister was learning how to ride, she had the pedaling thing down pretty well. She went missing one afternoon shortly after though, and we found her about a mile or so down a turnrow on the farm, pedaling madly and bawling away. "What's wrong, Pat?" Sniffling loudly, she cried, "I can ride this thing, but I don't know how to turn around!"

Q. how many cyclists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. they dont change them, they patch them.

maybe i should have said, anyone know any good cyclist jokes

Good bicyclist joke?

*scratches head*

GOOD bicyclist joke ? ?

Erok, are you OK?

Mick

my friend randy referred to a tiny fart as "a schrader" the other day. as in "aww dude, did you just schrader?"

that is ridiculous.

"Good" is all relative.

This is a fun thread!